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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25414471">hold on tight, i’m going down tonight</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/obscurityofphylum/pseuds/obscurityofphylum'>obscurityofphylum</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Umbrella Academy (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Dave is still dead, Depression, Drug Abuse, Klaus Hargreeves Deserves Better, Klaus Hargreeves Needs A Hug, Klaus Hargreeves Needs Help, Klaus Hargreeves-centric, M/M, Mourning, Self Harm, Sibling Bonding, Sober Klaus Hargreeves, Suicidal Thoughts</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 04:21:18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,339</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25414471</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/obscurityofphylum/pseuds/obscurityofphylum</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>six times klaus’s siblings were there for him when dave couldn’t be. </p><p> </p><p>v sad of the siblings just trying to help klaus through the grief of losing dave after they stop the apocalypse.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Dave/Klaus Hargreeves</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>230</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. you seem sad</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>the pill is staring him down. it's a circular white capsule, smaller than a penny. it sits so comfortably in the middle of his palm. he wants to shove the oxycodone down his throat, so many of the damn white tablets that he'll forget everything and fall asleep.</p><p>there's a gaping hole in his chest, and it aches in his throat sometimes if he thinks about him too much. klaus thinks that maybe, just maybe, the pills will fill that hole. patch it up and leave no cracks concealed, a tight little wall. </p><p>but his plan goes to shit when vanya walks into his room to ask him if he knows where one of her notebooks is, and she notices the pill in his hand. </p><p>she talks to him slow and steady, and klaus can't hear her because his ears are buzzing and there's doomsday bells ringing outside and the end of all times is coming. she takes the pill and flushes it down the toilet. </p><p>klaus stays numb, not even arguing when she takes the oxycodone out of his hand. she sits next to him on the side of his bed where he had stayed perched, and sighs softly.</p><p>"i know we're not very close, but you seem sad recently." she said after a few moments of silence. she was scanning his face for any sort of emotion or response, finding nothing. </p><p>'seem sad' is a nicer way of confronting him about the way he's been sleeping all day for the past month and a half, eating close to nothing, and cries most of the night. </p><p>klaus absentmindedly fiddled with the dog tags around his neck. </p><p>"it hurts." he said after a while. </p><p>vanya didn't say anything. she just grabbed his hand and held on tight.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. special</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>it's three in the morning. he's laying on his side, facing the wall. he's drifted off twice now, only for the nightmares to seep back into his sleep and wake him, his breathing panicked and irregular as scenes of bullets and bombs fill his head. </p><p>when he rubs his eyes, there's a blond soldier with blood trickling from the corner of his mouth. it's enough to send him back into sobs, muffled by his hand over his mouth. his tears are dampening the pillow beneath his head, they feel salty on his skin, but he's stuck in a world of shallow breathing and watery hiccups. </p><p>somebody knocks on the door. klaus doesn't respond. he doesn't even roll over. yet the unexpected visitor still comes in, tiptoeing across the creaking floorboards of klaus's childhood bedroom. </p><p>"move your legs." five's voice says, tapping him on the ankle. klaus looks up, confused, but scoots over. his elbows feel like jelly when he tries to hold himself up and his skin is crawling. </p><p>five doesn't seem to notice. he has a mug of coffee in his hands, and there's purple bags beneath his eyes. it was no secret that the nightmares plagued all of them, including five. </p><p>"it's about him, isn't it?" five asks suddenly, his voice breaking from the factual tone klaus was so used to. he sounded more sentimental now than ever, looking at klaus (moreso the dog tags that rest over his heart) knowingly. </p><p>"yeah. yeah, it is." klaus says. his voice is barely more than a whisper. five nods softly. </p><p>“he must’ve been very special to you." five says. </p><p>klaus just smiles sadly.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. one cigarette at a time</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>the booking for the shoot was in the same city she grew up in, so she just stayed at the academy for the night. it was much better than a hotel, plus she got to see her family. </p><p>she checked her watch. five AM on the dot. </p><p>as she walked down the hall, punching digits into her phone to call her assistant and tell him that she was ready to leave, an open door down the hall caught her eye. klaus’s bedroom. </p><p>she peered in, and it seemed empty for a second until she caught a glimpse of messy brown hair. klaus was sitting on the fire escape outside his window, a cigarette perched between his fingers.</p><p>curiosity got the better of her. allison got closer, putting her purse and phone on his bed. she knocked on the windowsill, nimbly climbing out to join him. he had obviously been out there a while, judging by the scent of cigarette smoke that stuck to his clothes</p><p>“hey.” klaus said shortly. his voice was hoarse. he blinked suspiciously fast, and his eyes were red and puffy. diego and vanya kept her updated about klaus when she was out of town. they were all worried about him. it was obvious he wasn’t sleeping, because it definitely wasn’t like him to be awake before the sun came up unless it was because of nightmares. </p><p>the nightmares weren’t new, but they were worse after the apocalypse was prevented. she didn’t know what they were about or what he’d been through, but she knows they’re definitely different than the ones he had as a child. she can still hear the soft footsteps of five year old klaus tiptoeing into her room long past midnight, burrowing himself next to her under the blankets. the feeling of wild, messy brown hair tickling her nose. his tears and sniffles as he drifted back to sleep. she never minded. </p><p>“hi.” allison replied, sitting down next to him. she sighed, staring down at the street below. it was a little bit cold, especially too cold for klaus, who had been losing weight on his already thin body the past couple months. </p><p>they used to always sit out here as teenagers. they had been close when they were younger, allison was the big sister who always had been protective of klaus. his heart was too big, he loved too hard and lost just as much. anyone could see that from a mile away. </p><p>before she could think about it, she grabbed her little brother’s hand and squeezed it hard. he looks up at her and smiles. it’s somber and doesn’t meet his eyes, but he doesn’t pull away or flinch. </p><p>“i’ll be right back.” allison said, slipping back through the window and grabbing her phone. </p><p>her manager was furious that she was cancelling the shoot. she told him that she had more important things to be done. it was true. </p><p>she went back to klaus. he pulled out a lighter and a two cigarettes, and lit one for her. he lit one for himself and put the lighter away, taking a deep drag of smoke. she hadn’t smoked a cigarette since their seventeenth birthday. </p><p>she took a cautious inhale and coughed at the fumes. klaus grinned humorously. she got more used to it, feeling the same fuzzy warmth she had when they were younger and would sit out here to sneak cigarettes on their birthdays. they didn’t talk, they just watched the rising sun creep over the city. the metal of the dog tags around klaus’s neck glittered in the morning light. </p><p>managers and red carpets could wait. right now, her little brother needed her.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. fresh air</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>diego thought it was a habit of the past. a teenage coping mechanism klaus had grown out of and left behind. </p><p>but he was looking at klaus in front of him now, his gaze switching from klaus’s thighs to the lighter diego had confiscated and was holding in his hand.</p><p>klaus’s skin was littered with tiny circular areas of charred flesh, some bloody, some already scabbing over. the worst were the ones that were already fresh scars. how long had he not seen this? how long had he not been paying attention to klaus?</p><p>for once, klaus was dead silent. his eyes were cemented to the floor, burning with tears that pooled and threatened to spill. neither of them knew what to say. klaus was usually the one making jokes of even the most serious situations, but it was like his lips were sewn shut right now.</p><p>diego left for a second to get a first aid kit. klaus could hear him rummaging around in the bathroom cabinet, and considered making a run for it. it wouldn’t be the first time he had run from diego trying to help him. the scene of him in his drug days, fleeing like a stray cat whenever diego forced him to come back to the gym with him and eat a hot meal or sleep in a warm bed was all too familiar for both of them.</p><p>he reappeared a moment later with hydrogen peroxide and bandages. he poured a little bit of the liquid onto a cotton swab and dabbed it onto the open wounds on klaus’s thighs. klaus was never one for modesty (he never really minded people seeing him naked) but sitting there with only his boxers on as diego bandaged his thighs, he wanted to crawl out of his skin.</p><p>klaus hissed with pain as the hydrogen peroxide stung his torn flesh, wincing. diego patted his knee awkwardly. neither of them were good at this comforting thing, but damn if they didn’t try.</p><p>“i’ve g-got you, buddy.” diego said, his voice uncharacteristically fragile as klaus grimaced in pain, flinching away. when he was finished, he put the first aid stuff back in the cabinet. </p><p>“why do you care so much?” klaus asked as diego threw sweatpants and a hoodie at him from one of klaus’s open dresser drawers. </p><p>“because you’re my brother. and it’s about time we start caring for each other like family. come on, you need some fresh air.” diego said, disappearing from the doorway. diego was probably already on his way to the courtyard waiting for him to get dressed, klaus thought. </p><p>he grinned softly to himself and started to put on his pants, his eyes trailing to the bandages on his thighs. it wasn’t a permanent fix, nothing was. but at least things felt a little bit okay for now.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. waffles and worth</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>the walls were closing in. he was in the mausoleum one second and the battlefield the next. his airway was constricting and he couldn’t breathe and-</p><p>“klaus. klaus, you’re at the academy. you’re okay.” a voice broke through the stream of endless thoughts. he breathed a little bit better, the voice coaxing him through the waves of panic.</p><p>once they subsided, he looked around. it was the last person he’d expected. </p><p>luther.</p><p>“you okay now?” luther asked, staring at him concernedly. klaus nodded, wiping his eyes with his sleeve. luther cleared his throat.</p><p>“it’s hard, isn’t it? all the memories, i guess.” luther said, his voice quiet. he was stumbling over his words, so careful and afraid to hurt klaus. he walked on eggshells around all of them now, trying to regain some sort of trust with them. it was a slow process of forgiveness on everybody’s end. </p><p>klaus nodded. his vision was foggy from tears, and a couple ghosts were still lingering and yelling at him from the corners of the room. </p><p>“hey, right now might not be the best time but i just wanted to tell you i’m sorry. for everything. i really messed up and-“ </p><p>“it’s okay.” klaus cut him off, looking at the ground. luther’s mouth was open to say more, but closed it quickly.</p><p>“no it’s not. i hurt you.” he said, his voice breaking a little bit. klaus’s head snapped up to look at him, brave number one, the leader, emotional about him. for most of his life, he thought luther just saw him as a permanent stain on the academy’s reputation. an obnoxious, weak, useless kid who took up too much of his time. </p><p>“i’m ready to start forgiving you.” klaus spoke, picking his words carefully. he didn’t say he forgave him yet. luther had been the beginning of his dwindling view of klaus’s own worth, drilling it in that he was the weakest member of the academy. klaus couldn’t forget that. but luther was trying, and klaus knew what it felt like to try everything to fix what you’ve broken. they sat in silence for a moment. </p><p>“wanna go get waffles?” luther asked quietly, looking up at klaus slowly. </p><p>“you know it.” klaus grinned.</p>
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<a name="section0006"><h2>6. oak trees and new beginnings</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>ben found him exactly where he was nearly every day. he was sitting beneath the oak tree, leaned against the trunk. there was a book in his hands that he was skimming absentmindedly, but he put it away when he heard ben approach. </p><p>"how is he?" the man asked. </p><p>"he's not doing so great. he misses you." ben said, smiling sadly as he settled near the other man beneath the tree. the grass was a bland gray, the same hue as everything else around them.</p><p>"i miss him. i just want to be there for him." </p><p>"i know." ben replied, his voice soft and melancholy. a light breeze rustled the trees. </p><p>they sat together in comfortable silence for a while, watching the leaves sway in the wind. </p><p>"you know, i've been following him around for longer than i can remember. you're the only one who really saw him for who he is and didn't run away." ben's voice was honest and a little sorrowful. </p><p>"he deserves to be happy." the man said after a little while. </p><p>"so do you, dave." ben insisted. dave didn't respond. instead he gazed off, warm blue eyes stuck in the thousand yard stare that ben often saw on klaus's face too. </p><p>"i gotta be there when he wakes up. i'll see you soon. take care of yourself." ben said, beginning to get up from beneath the tree. </p><p>"you too. oh, and ben?" dave called after him. ben turned around.</p><p>"take care of him for me, please. at least until i can myself." dave fiddled with the star of david necklace around his neck nervously. </p><p>"of course." ben grinned, fading in a glow of blue light for only a few seconds. he was back in klaus's bedroom at the academy. klaus blinked sleepily at him. ben didn't miss the dried tear tracks on his face.</p>
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